Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Doug Reviews Commercials

I know I said I would review So You Think You Can Dance, but nobody told me there would be a second straight night of La Voz (The Voice)!

I’m not going to rehash last night’s show, nor will I speculate on what Cee Lo dis to get rid of his cat and bring in a creepy pink bird.

Instead, I will review some of the commercials during The Voice:

Wendy’s- I like the confidence from the big wigs at Wendy’s. I wish I was in the room during the marketing meeting when someone piped up and said, “Healthy foods and staying fit are all the rage in fast food restaurants. Why should we do what everyone else is doing? I say we take the owner’s daughter and our iconic namesake, cake her in makeup and let her waddle through the store describing our biggest, meatiest burger. Everyone’s fighting against obesity…I say we embrace it!”

GEICO- As a reminder, GEICO is an acronym that stands for Government Employee Insurance Company. Could there be a better unintentionally hilarious correlation between the U.S. Government and a dimwitted caveman and a wide-eyed lizard?

But I won’t be too hard on GEICO because, you know…Flo.

Every Commercial Advertising a Phone or Tablet- Every time I see a commercial bragging that their phone or tablet is amazingly similar to every other phone or tablet on the market, it reminds me of comedian Louis CK. Check this out, you’re welcome.

Peyton Manning- I am a Manning fan. He is, for me, the prototypical NFL quarterback, and among the top 3 to ever play the position. I love his commercials only slightly less. Whether he is chanting, “Cut! That! Meat!” at the butcher, fairy-ing around with Deion Sanders, or stuffing his big frame inside a Buick Hybrid to show us a couple of features, I love the honesty of Peyton Manning. You can tell that Manning has never (and clearly will never) consider himself cool by any definition. He is dorky in every way. That level of self-awareness is so rare and makes him a compelling athlete and a phenomenal celebrity endorsement…”But I’ll be honest, I like this Tapenade.”

Hyundai Red-Head- Even though I’ve seen the commercial a bunch of times, I still can’t help hoping there’s a twist at the end where the Hyundai salesman  clubs her over the head and hides the body in the trunk of one of the showroom cars.

To finish, I will now post the English translation to the lyrics of “La Bamba”:

In order to dance the Bamba, In order to dance the Bamba
A little humor is needed, A little humor for me and for you
Faster and faster
Faster and faster
I'll be for you, I'll be for you
I'm not a sailor
I'm not a sailor
I'm captain
I'm captain
I'm captain

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