Monday, September 10, 2012

Doug Reviews The Voice

It’s time for The Voice! Even though The Voice is America’s 3rd favorite talent show on America’s 4th favorite network, I feel the voice is far superior to American Idol, X Factor or America’s Got Talent. In case you have never seen the show, the premise of The Voice is that there are millions of people who want to be famous.

The twist on this show is there are famous judges who sit with their back to the karaoke contestants and listen to them sing. Then, if the contestants are good enough (or, in Cee Lo Green’s case, if they sound young and female), the celebrities push a button indicating they want to add the performer to their team of singers that will compete to win the contest. I don’t want to spend too much time explaining it all to you here; it’s pretty complicated and scientific.

To be fair, the blind audition does a lot to create a competition actually based on talent, and the dynamic between the coaches is compelling. The animosity between Christina and Adam, the flirting between Adam and Blake, the sort of “getting away with a fart” feel I get from Cee Lo…the coaches themselves make for interesting TV.   

By the way, did you know Christina Aguilara is one of the key creators of The Voice? This information, while not too surprising, I guess, is really fascinating because of the parallels that exist between The Voice and Christina’s career as a diva.

With The Voice, she took a concept that was already working for American Idol, copied it, and simply tweaked it by adding a higher class of musical talent. Yet when presented to the public, her success is still not as great as the success of the product she is emulating.

Isn't this the exact same thing that happened with her singing career? Brittany Spears was happily doing the “slutty young white girl singing racy pop songs” thing and having massive success doing it. Christina comes along with clearly a stronger voice than Brittany’s, sluttier outfits, and songs that sound identical to each other, and yet Christina will always be the runner up to Queen Brittany. Makes me feel bad for her.

The good news is, she is definitely hanging in there with the cleav-…wait, there’s a better way to word this. She’s definitely hanging out there.

Anyway, the competition begins with the usual format. You know, 45-minute mind numbing biographies about the contestants (narrated by Carson Daly), followed by 12-15 actual seconds of listening to them destroy a classic song.

Can we please request these human interest stories go away? We get it, there are misunderstood artists living in tents because the economy sucks, and they’re really sad. It just gets hard for me to hear these singers whine about how they had to quit their 18 hour a week job to “focus on their music.”

You want a human interest piece about someone trying to cope with having their dreams taken from them? Interview any parent.

The singers on The Voice are all pretty amazing. I like that there is no “let’s all point and laugh at the talentless and delusional loser who might be mildly handicapped” segment like you get with the other shows of the same ilk. With The Voice, it’s much more straightforward. Some get through, some get cut.

The person you have to feel awful for is the first contestant to not get selected (this season, the sacrificial lamb’s name is Garrett). What an awful and lonely moment; hitting your final note and looking up to find four cold celebrity chair-backs. Oh, and because of the mini biography, we also know Garrett’s dad is dead. So there’s the poor kid, standing up there like the un-flushed turd in the office bathroom, being told in front of millions of people that he’s good not great. But it’s worse, because the turd has no dad.

Tomorrow night: So You Think You Can Dance? And maybe Shipping Wars.

No comments:

Post a Comment